Lost and Not Found

Saturday January 21, 2012

It’s almost noon, three days in the aftermath of snow, ice, major power outage, lack of back-up oxygen, wind and trees falling. I’m just getting my bearings. There is a fridge and both freezers to dump bad food and replenish. Leah’s watching TV with her dad. I called her to come spend the night after I couldn’t wake him for his evening pills. I wasn’t hysterical, but I couldn’t stop the flood of tears. I’m usually calm in the storm, but afterwards it all comes pouring out.  I had been exhibiting and feeling my calm for days. It was a scary moment, a-pull-up-a-chair-and-hold-hands-at-the-bedside-moment, and one I am sure will play out again. Change is definitely upon us. The world looks better today, only relatively speaking, but clearly our lives have shifted. The stress of the last few days has taken a toll along with the cancer.

There is much emotionally, logistically and physically to write and remember but not now. I have other pressing and necessary tasks for clean up and to get back in place at home and work.

But at this moment I have to relate an oddity. And it is about my glasses. Again! Last night as I was returning blankets and a handful of items downstairs, I went into the kitchen to prepare some food. The microwave clock needed setting after the outage. No glasses. I hate having to backtrack for those things. So I just fuzzily plugged some numbers in and thought I’d fix it later. Heated the food, went upstairs, looked for glasses. Nowhere. OK, get spare pair. Maybe I need my glasses to find my glasses (Mom will appreciate this thought!). Now, one day later I discover after multiple searches that the glasses I like, the replacement that looked just like the last pair that vanished into thin air, has apparently vanished into thin air. Not in the blankets, clothes, or along the path I last took. Not in pockets. Not in the places they shouldn’t have or should have been, either. Leah didn’t magically find them. I had worn the glasses just minutes before my trip downstairs.

It used to be that when I was in crisis or stress mode, car batteries drained and electrical things mischievously malfunctioned. I guess now I just lose my favorite glasses. Add “getting new glasses,” and gosh, I really like those same ones for comfort, to my  things to-do.

If anyone knows where these go, please contact me immediately!

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