My Journey of Healing

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

So many changes.

The only constant is change, I’ve heard. I believe it.

I’m thinking about the way people react to change (How I react to change). Some people embrace it, others avoid it. I think Dave didn’t like change ever since he was a boy. He moved from house to house and sometimes between families. He moved around from state to state and house to house with his first family. It wasn’t until we married that he spent more than a few years in one place, in one house. We lived in our first home for twelve years. I know that stability was one aspect of our life that he really loved. But after twelve years, my desire to move was disruptive to both Leah and Dave. I needed change. I needed growth. But there was resistance and fear and upset at the time. I had the urge to move, so we did. (As it turned out, the following year the Nisqually ‘Quake was devastating to the house. We were fortunate to move when we did. Always follow your instinct!)
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Crossing a Bridge

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I’m back! It seems a long time since I was typing away with my inner voice dictating, narrating my life. But here I am. It’s mid-morning and I actually slept in. Well, I would have officially if the phone hadn’t rang. Nonetheless, I slept later than usual. I haven’t gotten dressed and I don’t feel like I have to. Except it is a beautiful warm and sunny day and I just may have to wander outside. There is nothing finer in the Pacific Northwest than a sunny day! Everyone smiles.

I am in between. Now nearing three months since Dave’s death, I am sensing the routine of the world – both the outside and my own. Life is going on. I have settled into a pace of my life as a soloist, albeit slower that I’d wish. I heard his voice in a dream (or a visitation?) this morning, strangely comforting and bringing me peace.

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