Sunday, February 27, 2011

My mind is swirling with too many thoughts this morning. The snow has not gone away as predicted. In fact, this morning there is nothing but white from my doorstep to the doorstep across the street. It falls in icy mist then small and medium flakes. No walk around the lake this Sunday.

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What Dad Wants Dad Gets

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I feel more refreshed today than in past weeks. Some routine may be implemented now. The POLST* was signed, the hospice assessment nurse conducted her intake, there is oxygen on standby. The healthcare plan is now in place. Our outside world is covered in snow this morning. The streets are peaceful.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011, 10:30 am

Some of the practical decisions are the most difficult. Dave sleeps in the other room. As I work through the bills and determine how to squeeze out a few more dollars in the name of efficiency and added nickel-and-dime medical costs, I am faced with a logical but emotionally-charged  idea: Namely, to drop the NY Times subscription and his cell phone number.
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Did I Say That?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Writing personal thoughts habitually has become ingrained in my morning. I thought I was going to skip my first thoughts so I could just jump into some work related e-mails. What I found was that my first e-mail out is actually better as a journal entry:
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Nurse Care

Monday, February 21, 2011

This time thing keeps marching on. Feb 21. Another week has passed. The home care nurse will be here today.

As a hospice volunteer I have often talked with a family member who sorts out the time I come to provide respite based around the nurse’s visit. The conversation often includes, “well, the nurse will be here…” and the times. Of course this is a scheduling issue, but also a pivot point in the person’s day: “Can’t talk long, the nurse is on her way,” or “I’ll call you once the nurse has been here.” I think I understand why: it’s Monday, the home care nurse will be here today!
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Turning Death into Love

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Hospice = death? Actually no. but yes. More like inevitability.

Hospice draws a line in the sand. Once you step over it, you and everyone you tell, now has a new perspective on the life of the patient. And maybe, perhaps because of my volunteer work, I sense Dave now becomes a patient. He is still Dave, my husband, the teacher, the person, but medically he is a patient. With home care I was slowly moving into that patient direction but it still felt temporary. I suppose whenever you have nurses and doctors around, patient is the object.
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The H Bomb

Thursday, February 17, 2011

(On Wednesday, February 16, Dr. David Stack of Group Health Cooperative met with our immediate family to assess and discuss Dave’s overall health, palliative care and provide plans for his home healthcare. To our surprise, the discussion was moved from the home care realm to hospice care.)
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Stories Begin to Tumble Out

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Stories on tape? I must get my recorder set up in the bedroom for these moments of reminiscing.

Storytelling highlights; I’ll work on full write-ups later:
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