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Top Ten Steps for Grief

Ten Actionable Steps Through Grief

Grief is work. Moving through grief means taking the necessary steps to reclaim your changed life in its new formation.

I didn’t wake up the day after my husband Dave died and know which way to go, who I was or what the next days, weeks and months would bring. I was sick, tired and broken. I was alone. Because I was knowledgeable about grief, hospice, and all the theories, the outside world could see me as strong and able. Ironically, that may have made me feel even more alone. But I was strong. I am strong. And it was difficult still. Read more

10 Ways to Well-Being After Loss

Being in Well-Being

How is your health since your personal journey into grief and loss? Most likely, your grief shows up in your body as well as your mind. Have you noticed? Or do you ignore this too and make excuses for feeling lousy? Age, out of shape, no time, costs too much, I’m just not worthy without my loved one, I will when (fill in the blank)…

Stop for a moment right now and take inventory*:

  • Is your sleep restful?
  • Do your muscles have aches and pains?
  • Are you finding yourself in the doctor’s office more often with less answers? Read more

20 Pounds of Grief

Some people can’t eat. Others may take comfort and refuge in food. Under stress, when grief hits, which road do you take? Your hunger may wax and wane with the phases of the moon. After all, appetite changes are in the list for Is My Grief Normal? 20 pounds of your grief might be up, down or the yo-yo between as you battle the scale along with your grief.

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Yep. New Year Reflections

January 2, 2013

2012 will always be the year that Dave died. Now that it is 2013 I am truly on my own. And it hurts. In a lot of ways. And I am the only one who can take care of me. In a lot of ways. Read more

The Real Cost of Grief

The Real Cost of Grief

Grief appears as all sorts of emotions, and whether acknowledged it or not, may be actively defining who you are in the world right now. When you repeat the same thoughts without moving through to answers or a new perspective, grief makes you stuck. How many of these statements or questions below have you known at one time or another since your loss? Read more

After Life

Wednesday April 4, 2012

“On Monday, I was empty” I wrote in my journal last Thursday. I was so depleted that I really couldn’t write much more then or even until today. As big was the service, the fall was just as large.

After the memorial I cried and cried. The next few days were some of the most emotional I have felt since Dave’s death, with swings of confidence and loss; gratitude and sadness, optimism and loneliness. The roller coaster is back and the grief is magnified by the similar steps after his physical death: cleaning up finding meaning in little nuances of daily life, reminiscing, packing and unpacking memorabilia, seeking out comfort, answering calls from friends. The memorial was his death all over again, emotionally this time. And perhaps in some ways these last 10 day have been my most difficult. Now I face his daily absence as I pick up the pieces of my singular life.
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Going with the Flow

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Nanette Griffin’s birthday. It is really much easier to remember the birthdays of people I went to elementary school with than the grandchildren’s. Why is it? Or do I just remember January birthdays because my own slides through, usually quietly, after the new year. (I also remember Ruthie Priester, Elvis and Richard Nixon. Once we get to Martin Luther King, I suppose, much like New Year resolutions, the dates drop off!) I was noticeably more honored on my birthday this year than in the past with the company of friends and family, phone calls, small gifts, plus dinner and lemon meringue pie. It is nice to be loved.

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Through the Doorway

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Aaaaarhg. I’d love to let out a good long scream. Maybe that would help in some way.

I’ve had a million narratives in my mind this morning with my two cups of coffee. I really must go back to my half-decaf blend. I think too much. (However, it is nice to be a brilliant poet in those moments!)
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