Navigating Grief Means Doing – Why Not Make it Last!
In 12 Healing Words, Create means “to make something; give rise to” and “an action to give form to feelings.” In Navigating Grief, Create is recognized as the “doing something” by taking action on your grief. Create can help drive you to Discover, or Discover can provide you material or need for Create.
Create as Tangible Objects
One of the obstacles of grief is the fear we will forget our loved one. For some, the fear is so big as to be the reason to hang on to the grief as the tie to our loved one. “If I keep talking and fussing over the death,” the thinking goes, “then I (nor anyone else) won’t forget this person I love so much.” The real key is to hang on to the life and memories of our loved one and let go of the grief. Getting though grief means choosing to remember more, rather than forget. This one concept can be the turning point for your Discover path to healing. When you seek out information to carry forward in your journey, your loved one is always within your being and in your environment as you desire.
Create means “to make something.” The best way to not forget is to remember and you do that by preserving what you already have. Making use of photos along with your stories or captions these days is simple and lasting. Navigating Grief has its own online custom photo project system to make it easy. From personalized memory boxes to storybooks through keeping tradition alive with cards on special occasions, what at first is a painful reminder of loss turns into a gift of love and heartfelt memories. When you have a project in mind, it makes it easier to Discover the stories, as you become an investigator into your loved one’s life. It gives you a pathway and voice to express the qualities of your loved one as a person, so others can Share your loss in meaningful ways.
By being one-step-removed from your grief as you create, this becomes cathartic, active work on your grief, with a knowledge that this process and the finished gifts cannot be taken away. Watch for our new photo storybook and gift center opening soon.
Create as Making Life Better
Create also means “give rise to.” Have you considered that you can create a happy and fulfilling future without your loved one? You can give rise to a future you envision? When Create includes keeping your loved one with you in heart and gifts of story, it can also mean you can create a life that honors you and all that you have learned though your loss.
As another part of your grief work, you owe yourself a chance to move though the grief and forward with life. When this is difficult or your have others (or even you) handing out lots of “shoulds” or guilt, then working with a Navigating Grief coach can help you along the journey.
There are all sorts of scenarios when coaching is a viable and perfect solution while Navigating Grief. One is when you need to make room for the grief itself in the midst of life and obligations to family, work and self-care, as might a young widow with children, Or, perhaps you need to step away from grief and allow yourself to engage in life, self-care, family and work again! This might be someone who was a long time caregiver, or a retired widow. Perhaps the pain of loss is just never far away, and you feel that grief is taking a toll on happiness. This might be a parent at any age, or someone who misses a parent, sibling, spouse or friend terribly. Wherever you are in the journey, coaching is about creating the proper balance for you in your new normal after loss, no matte how long ago.
Create as Forms of Expression
Creativity is expression in all forms. Here are some avenues for you to give voice to your grief.
Writing. Focused writing is a fast way into your inner voice and a recognized wellness tool. Explore all the possibilities for writing throughout the Navigating Grief community.
Dreams. Many people who are experiencing intensified emotions, significant changes in life or focused writing may notice more active dreaming. Dreams do occur regularly, but many people do not remember them unless there are particularly vivid, active or special to the dreamer. With some effort, dreams can be remembered and a doorway into purposeful writing. If you find yourself remembering your dreams or even just pieces of them, write them out like a story and see what happens. As you write, more dreams will appear.
Art. Drawing, painting, and other art forms can also be an expressive way to bring feelings and ideas to light. Color, texture, use of space, and representative objects are all part of the artist’s discovery palette. Adding story to the art presentation enhances the experience.
Music. Music, rhythm and sound have powerful effects on all ages. Music can be used to set moods for activities or relaxation, as a tool for group programs, or to communicate through non-verbal expression.
Poetry. Another form of writing, poetry provides parameters, sound and meter to words, even visual cues to this form of expression.
Movement and drama. From yoga to dance to dramas, the body has a memory that can be revived through movement, breathing and dramatic activities. Through physical exertion, improvisation, role-playing, and “staged” exercises, participants in these types of creative expression can produce profound insights.
Photography. This visual media can be the viewpoint to literally picture the world as you desire as photographer, as graphic artist compiling montages or as the story keeper of past events using existing photos. In grief work, photos are an important connection and reminder of the deceased and the life once lived no matter how few or many the year or long, nor how recent or distant the event.