Growing Thin

Saturday July 30, 2011

My patience is thin. (Ha. That’s funny. My “patient” Dave is thin, too.) I get anxious waiting for the tea pot to boil, waiting for Lucky to go out a second time in the morning, waiting for him to come back inside, waiting to finish so many projects that will always be work-in-progress.
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Suspended

Sunday, July 24, 2011

It seems like a lifetime since I’d come home from my Sunday walk with Anne to find breakfast ready to be plated. There are no cooked eggs and grits awaiting me today. It has only been six months since Dave was knocked down by the cancer treatment and sentenced to retirement. Six months of change, six months of different, six months of a new normal. I eat my Quaker Oats granola quickly and without ceremony these days. Oats are good for the heart aren’t they?

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Life Altering Decisions

Friday, July 15, 2011

Making decisions for someone else can be difficult. When it’s someone you love the decisions can be excruciating.

I remember standing in the Emergency Room at Dave’s bedside two days before Thanksgiving in 1998 after he had his stroke. The neurologist was there having reviewed the tests and exam. Dave was conscious and responsive. His right side was damaged. His leg wouldn’t move. Less than four hours earlier he had experienced a rare spinal stroke.
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The Caregiver’s Validation

Thursday, July 14, 2011

When my eyes pop open and  my mind starts jabbering at 5:00 am I know it will be a Grief Reflection morning. I can’t go much past a week without pre-writing thoughts and narratives interrupting my thinking or work on other things. Writing has become a true habit for me. A year ago I would say I’m not “a journaler,” but now that has really changed! Never say never.
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I Don’t Know

July 3, 2011

I am feeling so much again. The rollercoaster emotions are back. Just when I think I can get comfortable along comes change. Dave has had a couple of rough days with the nausea and stomach or intestinal upset. This “stage” of healthcare – hospice – is all about symptom management. No tracking down reasons in particular, just solving the issues so to speak.

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