The Relationship to Relation

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

OK. I have stories in mind but other stuff wants to come out of my fingers here. The voice of grief has a stronger voice that that of my storybook writer this morning.

My eyes are puffy. I can feel the swelling by my tear ducts. Yesterday, Dave was “inside.”  He was not completely withdrawn; rather, he was contemplative, less talkative. Actually, he slept most of the morning. He has wondered whether he sleeps more. I’m not sure – compared to when? Yes, no, maybe… I don’t really know.
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Take Me for a Ride

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Some mornings I wish I didn’t feel compelled to write. That would mean I didn’t have any grief on my mind. The reality is that I do have this life change on my mind all the time. Sometimes with an outside voice looking inward, and other times as just pure me. I can’t tell if I am hyper-aware, or if this is normal! I have often told that I am more “in touch” with my being and surroundings that the average bear, so maybe I am hyper-aware and this is normal for me.
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Life’s Lemons

Thursday, March 24, 2011

(Dreams are a creative expression that can yield surprising insight to our waking world. I don’t look for “interpretation” but rather I reflect based on “day residue” the related activities that might provoke dream images,  and what thoughts pop up from what I know about my life.)

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade…
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Care and Feeding

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I haven’t gathered the thoughts on my daily routine lately. I think “care” comes to me rather naturally. It’s what I do. I prefer to put others before me most of the time. It’s easier.
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From This Moment

Sunday, March 20, 2011

For the last two mornings I have awakened with a song in my head. The lyrics that resound are From this moment… (I can’t make out the middle verbiage) I will love you as long as I live, from this moment on. (then the musical ending)

From this moment… I think we are splitting our paths.

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My Golden Girls

Friday, March 18, 2011

Today I am virtuous! Dave suggested I could make this claim when I returned from my Friday treadmill workout. So I am.

I would have preferred to have had another cup of coffee this morning, but I meet Tamela at the fitness club on Fridays (and Saturday for Spin class), so I am obligated to show up.

Show up, Pay Attention and Love the Best You Can. That’s my friend Sophie’s Three Pearl Read more

Laughing at Death

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Can there be laughter? Have I written so much on grief I can’t share the funny times?

I remember the pilot program for Storybooks for Healing and naively thinking that meeting people in grief would be all tears and somber. But as we got to know each other and began the sharing of grief, talking about the personalities of the loved ones and recalling the stories of the relationships, laughter arrived naturally.
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Time Warp

Monday, March 14, 2011

I feel like I am stationary in a car and as I look out the window I can see the countryside whizzing by. Time suspended, yet passing.

When I was talking with my sister-in-law recently she was asking questions about when and how long regarding Dave’s health. Almost all my answers were for a couple of weeks such and such happened. Later I realized that some things were three or four weeks duration, some just a few days. I couldn’t get the time straight. It just seems like everything is a “couple of weeks.”
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